Tag: photography
time is racing toward us
…you guessed it (or maybe you didn’t), i covered i’ll make a man out of you from the original mulan movie:
and since i started with my most recent video, let’s work backwards through any others i’ve published since then:
okay, fair warning, i’ve made a lot of videos since i’ve written a blog post…
so what’s been up with me? well, i had my heart broken, by my ex, who claims he never broke up with me and who i have no recollection of breaking up with, but who is still my ex for some reason. funny how things work like that; like heartbreak. choking you.
i took and scanned and took more photos, but those, or most of those, are for later. i suppose i’ll share some scanned instaxes of me in a britney spears hoodie at the local lake;
more to share later.
for now, i return to my regularly scheduled mental breakdown.
xoxo
zélie
the first three photos i shot with my new canon 80d, sooc
xxoo,
zélie
and i write write write, and i write write write
okay. let us deal with the probable elephant in the room; yes i am misquoting the kitty cat dance dance dance song (that’s definitely, uh, its official name.) i once had a shirt that was based on that video, aptly purchased at hot topic circa 2008 or 2009
i would post the picture right now, but it will take some time. i suppose i will hunt for it anyways. still, my flickr is deleted. my photo folders are unorganized. digging i go!
so now i sit and sip hot (warm) coffee, with milk, because [redacted] was so kind as to buy me some more during this pandemic and drop it off at my apartment, with a mask on, of course.
i’ve been struggling, with a lot of things, of course, one of them being the feeling of being unproductive, though i am depressed and chronically invisibly mentally & physically ill and my creative output is still rather immense, considering all of that.
see, i know this logically, but emotionally, it doesn’t stick. things are always that way in my head. bpd symptom number whatever.
so here are some more photos, old ones, to start (sort of) at the beginning (my beginnings with a basic point-and-shoot camera, anyways), because i have no clue where else i’d start… well, i do, but… unimportant!
in 2008, i believe, possibly late 2008, i deleted my year’s worth of flickr content and “started fresh.” those two photos were two of the first i ever uploaded, following that.
other old pictures are harder to find – this is old, sure, but not the first photo i uploaded during my golden era of flickr dot com, which was titled “godiva had more hair than me” and captioned, ‘cut it all off.”
there are recent images, too.
i must admit, i overlined my lips with a charlotte tilbury lipliner there. (pillow talk, of course!)
yes! i have animal crossing new horizons! have i written about it on here yet? i can’t recall and i don’t have the spoons to check! with that said, i must thank beth for buying me the game and also a coral pink switch lite which i love dearly.
well, that’s all for today. i’m considering substack, but i think i’d have to be dramatic and upheave things by deleting my facebook or something. we’ll see.
xxoo
zé
on the golden age of flickr (without explaining what or when it actually was) or at least right before it
oh, i miss you. i came late to the scene but you were there with welcoming arms; the flickr community of that time.
now i want to preserve my 138,969 (mostly private) uploaded items. preferably before paying them more money for features like storage and selling facial data secretly.
the first photo i uploaded to flickr in 2007, and the second, and maybe twenty to forty more odd photos that are probably lost to time, a tragic fate.
i deleted them all without backing them up. i wanted a “fresh start”.
photo number one reuploaded since then is still there, i believe. “godiva had more hair than me” / “cut it off” (no, don’t!)
june 21, 2008 – day one of my first 365?
i’ve been vlogging 24/7, which mostly means “recording myself while i sit at my desk.”
in picture number two, i am reading the instructional booklet for my old point and shoot. aw. find that one yourself; i should be wearing more at 15 so i won’t voluntarily post that here. the focus is bad.
100 views, 3 comments! oh internet, you were too kind.
then this:
i edit, but not as much as a i shoot. i have a backlog; photos and video. where to put my art? patreon? wordpress? weigh in, please.
“Suga and I spent lots of today together. I love this girl. I love spending time with her.
We went and got cheeseburgers (i can has cheezburger? is the theme for today), then we got a caramel-ish milkshake to share. It was caramel coffee goodness. We also wandered through Newbury Comics and looked at the hamburger phone they had there and the candy cigarettes. She’s thinking of dying the reddish parts of her hair purple. Opinions? After that we went to CVS and got junk food for what we’re about to do, which is watch Sweeney Todd (she has the dvd).”
the captions are honestly half the gold, especially to a nostalgic cancer sun like myself.
next. world’s most awkward smile combined with a beautiful myspace angle.
I was going to go see Wanted with my friend Morgan today (who calls me Achilles, and who I call Patroclus – long story), but we decided to go see it tomorrow instead. We’re both really lazy sometimes. Photos of me from above always look weird to me, because my nose ends up looking semi-normal in them. I have the weirdest nose. It basically just sticks up. I used to hate it, but it’s growing on me. I’m not wearing any makeup in this photo. I just realized that.
oh, yes. zoomed in. or, more likely, cropped.
then we have my first “popular” photo. “popular”
someone quoted it on yahoo answers asking how to get the fucked up haircut i had then
So I got my hair cut. I like it okay, but I’m getting it cut again soon because the layers are a little weird. I want it to look kinda like this when I get it cut again. Which should be…Friday? ish?
later, i would get even more views.
the next two are simply titled “Brits don’t celebrate the 4th of July.” i wish i was 15 year old me. she was fearless.
ohhh, my eyeliner was so good. also? this is still prior to the full glory of flickr’s golden era.
yeah, it got so much better. i improved so much. i even owe so much of my photography skill to that data-mining website
next: angst was easier with long hair
if i did this for a year, would anyone care? if i shared a huge backlog while posting SOME new content, too?
next, a close-up pic of my teenage feet. skip forwards.
I will be doing a lot of traveling this summer. I will be doing things like staying at a campsite, etc. I will not have internet access. I thought that this would be for maybe two weeks at most when I started my 365. However, I discovered that I will have to be in Europe (England and France, visiting family and dealing with assorted problems) for up to a month. The actual amount of time that I would be in a situation where I can’t upload 365 shots for is unknown to me right now, but since it could be a while I wanted to end THIS 365 before I got too invested in it. There is a 97% chance (not actually, I just made that up, but around that number) that this 365 would have been a for sure failure because of that. When I get back, I’ll probably upload a bunch of pictures from my traveling, then when the new month comes around the plan is to start a fresh, new 365 which I can be much more committed to for the whole entire year.
This makes me kinda sad for a bunch of reasons. I don’t like having a failed 365 behind me. I don’t like having to wait about another year to have a birthday 365 shot (my birthday is July 18th, which is going to be over by the time that I come back), childish as that is. I have to look on the bright side though, my hair will have grown a little so I’ll feel more like me, I’ll have a little more experience with my camera, and…there are probably a bunch of other things I could list also if I wasn’t too lazy, and if I didn’t have to pee.
see, i used to do things.
like pee. and travel!
This is a really silly, weird picture. I LOVE candy corn. It is one of my favorite things, ever. Anyways, yesterday I went out and they were selling 99¢ bags of candy corn, so I bought one. Later in the day, I decided to do a more serious photoshoot type thing. I don’t have a good background so I was using my Japanese folding-out screen (which is really tall and wide) as one, and I improvised a tripod. I realized pretty fast, however, that I really need a light. I can’t afford a decent one meant for photography, but I’ll try to at least buy a clip-on lamp from Target and some white light bulbs. Also, an actual tripod ASAP. After that I was feeling frustrated and in the mood to take pictures (while eating my candy corn, of course), and I came up with this. I liked it enough to put on here. My hair is straight and gross and I hadn’t washed it for 3 days (I washed it last night though, so no worries, now I am once again silky soft).
My nose looks hella weird here. It doesn’t look like my nose at all.
two comments:
and then, every photo displays the exif data beautifully, unfortunately. you can click on a link on the site to show more of it;
i used to be terrible at scanning things. like, really bad. i guess i just didn’t care. i wouldn’t fix it in editing or anything. with that said,
i called her suga when i was 15. a nickname i made up that she accepted.
but mostly, i wasn’t scanning. i was using my still-beloved point and shoot canon.
july 13th, 2008 (uploaded one day later):
This is a photo of my from yesterday, wearing only mascara (that’s all I had with me. This is in a car), and with gross unwashed hair. I get lazy and tired and decide to shower in the morning all of the time, except for I hate showering in the morning, so I end up not doing it. So I feel really gross a lot. I’m actually clean and shiny right now. My hair is being weird and wavy but it’s clean and I did my makeup well. I want to go outside but I don’t want anyone to see me. I’d like to be invisible right now, and to just watch people.
I (obviously) cropped the photo, but tried to leave my nose piercing in the picture. I cropped it because I wanted my seat belt out! At least I’m safe. It’s also cross processed (my favorite picnik tool!), but barely. The light was pretty weird that day.
aw, my eyebrows were cute considering there was probably no makeup whatsoever on them and i STILL PLUCKED THEM TOO because, you know, it was the 2000’s.
the makings of a storm in my head in a time of, while not peace, not misery and suffering either.
i have improved a lot in photography since july 14, 2008. and i still think the final shot of this “series” is creative:
and with that, for now, without even getting into remotely solid gold, i bid you adieu. for now.
xoxo
zélie
