…you guessed it (or maybe you didn’t), i covered i’ll make a man out of you from the original mulan movie:
and since i started with my most recent video, let’s work backwards through any others i’ve published since then:
okay, fair warning, i’ve made a lot of videos since i’ve written a blog post…
so what’s been up with me? well, i had my heart broken, by my ex, who claims he never broke up with me and who i have no recollection of breaking up with, but who is still my ex for some reason. funny how things work like that; like heartbreak. choking you.
i took and scanned and took more photos, but those, or most of those, are for later. i suppose i’ll share some scanned instaxes of me in a britney spears hoodie at the local lake;
more to share later.
for now, i return to my regularly scheduled mental breakdown.
okay. let us deal with the probable elephant in the room; yes i am misquoting the kitty cat dance dance dance song (that’s definitely, uh, its official name.) i once had a shirt that was based on that video, aptly purchased at hot topic circa 2008 or 2009
i would post the picture right now, but it will take some time. i suppose i will hunt for it anyways. still, my flickr is deleted. my photo folders are unorganized. digging i go!
so now i sit and sip hot (warm) coffee, with milk, because [redacted] was so kind as to buy me some more during this pandemic and drop it off at my apartment, with a mask on, of course.
i’ve been struggling, with a lot of things, of course, one of them being the feeling of being unproductive, though i am depressed and chronically invisibly mentally & physically ill and my creative output is still rather immense, considering all of that.
see, i know this logically, but emotionally, it doesn’t stick. things are always that way in my head. bpd symptom number whatever.
so here are some more photos, old ones, to start (sort of) at the beginning (my beginnings with a basic point-and-shoot camera, anyways), because i have no clue where else i’d start… well, i do, but… unimportant!
in 2008, i believe, possibly late 2008, i deleted my year’s worth of flickr content and “started fresh.” those two photos were two of the first i ever uploaded, following that.
other old pictures are harder to find – this is old, sure, but not the first photo i uploaded during my golden era of flickr dot com, which was titled “godiva had more hair than me” and captioned, ‘cut it all off.”
there are recent images, too.
i must admit, i overlined my lips with a charlotte tilbury lipliner there. (pillow talk, of course!)
yes! i have animal crossing new horizons! have i written about it on here yet? i can’t recall and i don’t have the spoons to check! with that said, i must thank beth for buying me the game and also a coral pink switch lite which i love dearly.
well, that’s all for today. i’m considering substack, but i think i’d have to be dramatic and upheave things by deleting my facebook or something. we’ll see.
oh, i miss you. i came late to the scene but you were there with welcoming arms; the flickr community of that time.
now i want to preserve my 138,969 (mostly private) uploaded items. preferably before paying them more money for features like storage and selling facial data secretly.
the first photo i uploaded to flickr in 2007, and the second, and maybe twenty to forty more odd photos that are probably lost to time, a tragic fate.
i deleted them all without backing them up. i wanted a “fresh start”.
photo number one reuploaded since then is still there, i believe. “godiva had more hair than me” / “cut it off” (no, don’t!)
june 21, 2008 – day one of my first 365?
i’ve been vlogging 24/7, which mostly means “recording myself while i sit at my desk.”
in picture number two, i am reading the instructional booklet for my old point and shoot. aw. find that one yourself; i should be wearing more at 15 so i won’t voluntarily post that here. the focus is bad.
100 views, 3 comments! oh internet, you were too kind.
i edit, but not as much as a i shoot. i have a backlog; photos and video. where to put my art? patreon? wordpress? weigh in, please.
“Suga and I spent lots of today together. I love this girl. I love spending time with her.
We went and got cheeseburgers (i can has cheezburger? is the theme for today), then we got a caramel-ish milkshake to share. It was caramel coffee goodness. We also wandered through Newbury Comics and looked at the hamburger phone they had there and the candy cigarettes. She’s thinking of dying the reddish parts of her hair purple. Opinions? After that we went to CVS and got junk food for what we’re about to do, which is watch Sweeney Todd (she has the dvd).”
the captions are honestly half the gold, especially to a nostalgic cancer sun like myself.
next. world’s most awkward smile combined with a beautiful myspace angle.
oh, yes. zoomed in. or, more likely, cropped.
then we have my first “popular” photo. “popular”
someone quoted it on yahoo answers asking how to get the fucked up haircut i had then
later, i would get even more views.
the next two are simply titled “Brits don’t celebrate the 4th of July.” i wish i was 15 year old me. she was fearless.
ohhh, my eyeliner was so good. also? this is still prior to the full glory of flickr’s golden era.
yeah, it got so much better. i improved so much. i even owe so much of my photography skill to that data-mining website
next: angst was easier with long hair
if i did this for a year, would anyone care? if i shared a huge backlog while posting SOME new content, too?
next, a close-up pic of my teenage feet. skip forwards.
see, i used to do things.
like pee. and travel!
and then, every photo displays the exif data beautifully, unfortunately. you can click on a link on the site to show more of it;
i used to be terrible at scanning things. like, really bad. i guess i just didn’t care. i wouldn’t fix it in editing or anything. with that said,
i called her suga when i was 15. a nickname i made up that she accepted.
but mostly, i wasn’t scanning. i was using my still-beloved point and shoot canon.
july 13th, 2008 (uploaded one day later):
aw, my eyebrows were cute considering there was probably no makeup whatsoever on them and i STILL PLUCKED THEM TOO because, you know, it was the 2000’s.
the makings of a storm in my head in a time of, while not peace, not misery and suffering either.
i have improved a lot in photography since july 14, 2008. and i still think the final shot of this “series” is creative:
and with that, for now, without even getting into remotely solid gold, i bid you adieu. for now.