time is racing toward us

…you guessed it (or maybe you didn’t), i covered i’ll make a man out of you from the original mulan movie:

and since i started with my most recent video, let’s work backwards through any others i’ve published since then:

okay, fair warning, i’ve made a lot of videos since i’ve written a blog post…

so what’s been up with me? well, i had my heart broken, by my ex, who claims he never broke up with me and who i have no recollection of breaking up with, but who is still my ex for some reason. funny how things work like that; like heartbreak. choking you.

i took and scanned and took more photos, but those, or most of those, are for later. i suppose i’ll share some scanned instaxes of me in a britney spears hoodie at the local lake;

more to share later.

for now, i return to my regularly scheduled mental breakdown.

xoxo
zélie

some instax scans and videos and a whole new world (website)

so first, youtube update:

they’re all covers….oops. a vlog soon. a birthday/hair vlog, hopefully.

now, here, have some instax high resolution scans. i cleaned two of these photos thoroughly first!

my 28th birthday cake, bought for the purpose of sitting on, was yellow cake, with strawberries & strawberry jam filling (2 layer) and also buttercream frosting in addition to the writing on the cake! it’s delicious.

i scanned some other things, but they are not mine so i will not share them (for now? forever?)

my hair is very cute, split blue and pink neon extensions. oh well; anyways.

i’m tired. i have MAYBE an hour before my med nurse gets here for my appointment.

xoxo
zélie thorn

PS: i also have a brand new website that i’m working on, zelie dot tv

and all the beautiful people in it

the title is a reference to the beautiful lana del rey song, “god bless america – and all the beautiful women in it” … actually, it’s straight up lyrics.

i’m not tired. i’ve had two coffees. i refuse to be tired!

tw suicide;
my amitriptyline overdose anniversary is coming up. you know, the serious one? the one where i deliberately took more than the 26 years old at the time of his death (i was 26 a year ago) nick drake took and died, and the one where i woke up later in the sicu, intubated, with an iv in my jugular.

i still have this saved on my phone.

i am tired, of hurting, i suppose. i plan to stay alive! i have two beautiful purring daughters, xena and sabrina, my emotional support cats.

xena barely ate after that overdose until i was back. now, for clarity: xena normally has, well, quite an appetite!

i am editing a youtube video for the anniversary of the attempt (9/11/18) but i am not sure if it will be out in time.

i finally cleared every item off my scanner, and scanned some instaxes i had acquired:

as you can see, the photos are in varying quality.

that’s all for now. maybe a post later. MAYBE.

xoxo

let’s be inclusive of livejournal

i made a livejournal (that i barely posted on) while i was taking a hiatus from wordpress (here, if you weren’t aware)

i went outside, to eat pho, during that time. i got and i posted a photo from the vietnamese restaurant:

pho; vietnamese iced coffee; etc

so. let me look to see what else you missed… ok, there was more than i thought. so just go look at it or whatever if you want to. i may even post on it again someday in the future. who knows.

i would love to feel okay.

are you watching my decay?

shameless self promotion

some days, words come easily. other days, not so much.

xxoo