save my wet blood and my coffee-stained tongue

those tights are good, but they’d be better torn up more. your existence is fine, but if you could be a little more self reliant everyone would appreciate it.

i recently announced stuff on instagram, and you can go look if you want, but whatever. i don’t have it in me to talk about it here, too, now.

i moved a lamp and suddenly, the room is inviting. am i that stereotypically a cancer sun? i want a home; not an apartment! it is a nice lamp that i bought from target with my ex boyfriend well over a year ago because i was, and still am, into the color champagne, because a girl i am nostalgic for the friendship i once shared with her, she loves the color champagne now. very differently from her old self, she proudly declares it her favorite, and i appreciate that still, though since i stopped paying attention to her. a feat! for a cancer sun, especially.

the lamp shade is cream-champagne-off white with silver thread through it so it shimmers just enough. the base is oddly shaped and probably acrylic but i like to pretend that it is lucite. it takes a standard american lightbulb.

on the coast, where the air tastes salty, somewhat far from here (too far to taste the salt!) there are photographs to be taken, so i intend to continue living. other places, too.

i wish this wasn’t relatable

i will, though, be brave! impressive, no? if i do it, that is. i intend to commit to the task.

lana del rey croons into my ears and i let her, i make her, even. on repeat. it helps. it soothes. i ordered lana del rey cds recently. i’m sure in a year or so when i get around to editing that footage (!) i will show you the cds in their shiny plastic packaging when they arrive in the mail. i know they’re coming via usps because of course i do; i check tracking numbers obsessively.

sabrina!!! you are not allowed there

that’s all for now. i’ll keep it oddly optimistic (not actual-optimistic, just for me it is) before i ruin it.

xoxo
zélie