a title

i was watching a youtube video about brittany murphy with the quote “she knew how to be vulnerable without being the victim, somehow.” here’s the video i’m sure you can find it somewhere in there. it hit me close to home. i realized some things, though i don’t know what yet… they’re half-realized, and i… Continue reading a title

some drafts later, in march of 2021

i have, as the title suggests, drafts between my last published posts and now. there is a gap in time where only i get to know what might have gone on this blog but never did in those days. people around me are slamming doors and being loud in cars… is that what a pandemic… Continue reading some drafts later, in march of 2021

a new post on a new blog for a new day, or something

gosh, that sounds terribly optimistic, doesn’t it? that’s kind of gross. it’s not that optimism is inherently gross by any logic, but anything other than pessimistic realism resulted in something bad when i was a child. i don’t know what, but i know i’m deeply uncomfortable admitting i feel optimism, in a similar way to… Continue reading a new post on a new blog for a new day, or something

crystals i ordered online etc

crystals are arriving today. and other things (oops? not that i’m on a no-buy currently) so, hello. of course, that image is old. the hair! my hair is much lighter and longer now. i suppose i should show you all soon. i’m just so tired, but maybe pictures…? soon? not that you can see my… Continue reading crystals i ordered online etc

it’s unfortunate that things ended up this way

cut me off, dad. go on i expect it. you were abusive, emotionally, verbally, physically, more? i can’t talk about my mom. she might cut me off too, anyways, and i can’t not talk about her not because she’s never hurt me deliberately, but because she might read this. because i struggle to cover the… Continue reading it’s unfortunate that things ended up this way