first oob (order of business – a notebook girls reference): i have a new banner for the site! it has my name on it and stuff. one banner two banner red banner blue banner. uh, one banner gif banner pink banner yellow banner?

i’ve been filming, but editing is hard. there is so much more to come.

it has come to my attention that my uncle wrote a poem about me. he writes many poems, but i find that very sweet.

i wrote a poem after, because i was inspired. it’s on here, but private. email me if you want the password, i might give it to you – or make it public one day, who knows? not me. i never feel like i know anything because everything is constantly in flux.

sex work is threatening my existence, basically, but also my existence is threatening my nonexistent career in internet-based freelance sex work. i’ll probably speak more on that later (but not in this post.)

i made my nsfw twitter private, for that reason, for now. i may make the other one public? we’ll see.

it’s been a bit since an update, but not too bad…

i’m smoking the resin from my friend’s weed pipe. it’s okay. it eases my symptoms, a little. it’s not as good as smoking actual weed for my symptoms. do i have a medical card, you may ask? well, no, but i live in a state of the usa where it’s legal recreationally at present and i would qualify for a medical card if only i could easily afford the appointment. or if only i prioritized it when medical weed is so expensive. you know? it’s tough. that’s what i’d like to do, but here we are.

i am 27 years old. that’s okay. i have been for a bit now.

listening to jhene aiko, to act like i’m on livejournal writing this and What I’m Listening To is important. i am listening to the track 3:16am from her Sail Out EP.

she’s a pisces. i feel that. drowning in water sign emotion like me. not every pisces does that, but so many do, and i know my pisces moon regularly fucks with me. i know my main 3 are the 3 water signs. my sun is in cancer, which leaves scorpio, my rising. aquarius is an air sign. people get that one wrong all the time.

i have plans with a friend shortly, so i should stop blogging. the song has changed to the Kesha track from her first album post-freedom, the one with Dolly Parton on it. old flames can’t hold a candle to you.

i’ve been looking at old pictures and old video too much, out of semi-necessity.

it’s funny, i feel reasonably intelligent sounding writing this. is my caloric intake so low that i am delirious or did i stop dissociating? well, perhaps one of you can tell me. not that i get a lot of comments. that’s okay. people don’t like commenting on blog posts usually.

but that’s all for now i think

xoxo
zé