listening to lana del rey’s new music like oh, pauli’s music show is tonight, and i can’t go. i know something fun, but i’m sworn to secrecy 😉

lately i feel like the “this is fine” dog. forgive me if i’m repeating myself.

i updated my site – mostly, there’s now a donate/follow page. i considered a subscription option, but… not right now!

you can also follow/subscribe to my posts RIGHT HERE below (i know, i’m amazing, i can work wordpress dot com):

i’m tired, but that’s okay. i had therapy today, and woke ridiculously early. buffy was on. i miss watching buffy. it almost made me cry. maybe i did, over klepto dawn suffering and feeling alone. lol, i’m so great at feeling others’ pain if it’s like mine, how selfish of me.

i’m honestly just not sure how to cope with my ocd lately! things are hard (but when are they not.)

i’m drinking coffee & making poor decisions and of course rereading flowers for algernon, which makes me CRY. of course i relate far too hard to charlie/charly too.

ugh

life is tough! my eating disorder is bad. my med nurse was concerned the other day and now wants to monitor my blood pressure weekly – it was 104 over 60 right before she gave me my abilify maintena injection (talk about your meds! destigmatize them as much as possible!)

url zelie.co is expiring soon, and i’m not bothering to renew, since i love zeliethorn.com so much more. anyways, it used to forward to my patreon, but people like to claim my old urls for some reason, so…who knows! it’s a rollercoaster ride out here with everybody fending for themselves. mixed metaphors? alright.

lately…lately is a mess! ha haha how about we skip over that one, for the most part.

my suicideaversary from amitriptyline overdose is coming up fast, and i don’t know. i just don’t know! i’m safe; no need to call the authorities or anyone to protect me, but it sure is weird and bad and hard.

i miss things, but they aren’t always right for me. that’s just part of being a cancer sun. nostalgia glows golden in the most beautiful way.

i’m editing the next vlog. promise. aaaah.

i even have other (creative) video ideas, too! i love that my videos are real, but honestly my blog is even more so. i spill my metaphorical viscera on here, and of course while i appreciate any wishlist gifts and one-time financial help i’ve received…in some cases, multiple times…from friends and strangers and in betweens alike, i truly want to emphasize that that is such a nice bonus to allowing my confession compulsion to run free! is anyone else as messy as me? probably. but maybe not.

i started posting instagram photos in black and white, because, like, whatever. i mean not whatever! but i don’t want to go deep into it. it’s a mood; something real and sad and alive but struggling. me.

have you followed me yet? here’s the form again, because i’m obnoxious, and i can do this:

anyways, my astrology mentor is texting me, so i will share more soon. i love you all. yes, even the haters. whatever!

xoxo
zélie

PS i recently figured out how to check messages on the contact form – hit me up on there again if you did already and still want to contact me, or just if you want. idk. ok, enjoy!