i’m trying, i’m trying, i’m trying.

the more i think about it the more it becomes obvious to me that i have undiagnosed ocd.

anyways.

life is hard (we know this.) i turn 27 tomorrow. it’s my 7th 21st birthday, or whatever. i’m determined to publish a post, and my solution to that is that i will post this, regardless of what happens to it! where it goes – i don’t know. i don’t have a plan. i am just freewriting.

i also plan to include some images within this blog post.

it’s hard to communicate effectively. something i once valued my skill at has become… not a lost cause, but something, something bad. something not very good.

oh i’m aware how unintelligent i sound right now, at least compared to before. i can’t even make the art i cherish so and be impressed by my own skill.

does everyone rely on that? is part of the problem that i even could do that, once? hm. it sets expectations.

a recent selfie

my hair is pink again. i am glad!

i suppose i will be posting more, to remember. to document. to keep. to not forget.

i am filming, but editing is hard in my current mental state. actually, so is transferring files. i did manage to upload a new youtube video recently, one i had kicking around on an external hard drive.

so, i’m signing out for now, because i need to go to the bank, and i’m tired already from writing this post. i have so few spoons – look up spoon theory if you don’t know what i mean.

when i say i’m signing out…i rarely actually sign out, because i don’t want to have to log back in. just a little confession. i use it as a figure of speech.

xoxo
z

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